For over 20 years, I feared judgment and rejection after an abortion.
Shame had been huge for me. When people paid me a compliment, I never was able to receive it because the enemy was saying “yea, if they only knew the truth about you”. I felt miserably unworthy. I was crowned Homecoming Queen 3 months after my abortion and I couldn’t enjoy it at all. Deep down I felt I didn’t deserve the honor and if people only knew… they would hate me. I’ve now learned people can love me. I held back a part of me they wanted to love, that I needed to have loved.
The Lord desired to minister to my broken heart but I surrounded it with a wall of denial built with lies to protect my secret. The bricks represented layers of lies about who I was, why I did what I did, things about the child I lost and what others would say to me and about me, if they knew the truth.
I began the process of tearing down my wall of denial with the truth in God’s Word. My path to true freedom came through fully acknowledging the truth of what happened and opening myself up to ministry. What is kept in the darkness cannot be touched by light, and truth is light, God is light. Revealing my secret allowed the light of His mercy and grace to shine into my heart.
Through the healing process, my Heavenly Father has reminded me of His Truths – that I’m forgiven, and my sin has been cast as far as the east is to the west. Furthermore, I am His beloved daughter, He is proud of me and He wants me to enter into Abundant Living and take His Kingdom of love and restoration wherever I go.
This healing journey is a process. The Lord continues to show me where my heart needs alignment with His on issues surrounding the abortion. It is imperative to remain in the Word while pursuing a Life of Abundance!
Our Heavenly Father sent the Holy Spirit to be our comforter and He is such a gentleman. His grace, mercy and patience with me have been amazing. I realized that He wasn’t condemning me and had forgiven me for my abortion, but I needed to forgive myself. The Lord showed me how He wanted to take away those heavy buckets filled with shame and guilt.
I had spent years hating the word “abortion”. My insides would cringe any time I heard it and I only said the word if I absolutely had to. So it still seems inconceivable to me to share my story. After all, I’d spent years trying for forget it fearing it would somehow return and haunt me one day. In time, I realized that the very thing the enemy intended to harm me and hold me back, the Lord would bring healing to and allow me to share of His amazing love and grace in my life.
Now the Lord is using me to encourage others through the ministry of “Restored by Grace”. My calling is to co-labor with Christ to bring freedom by the truth of God’s word to those hurting from the pain of abortion. Restored by Grace offers a Bible based healing journey to women who have had an abortion(s) and Reconciliation Healing weekends.
Restored By Grace is partnering with Informed Choices to offer healing to those who have experienced an abortion. Classes will be beginning this Spring at the Ames Informed Choices Medcial Clinic. Call for dates and times. 1-515-232-8000
And my experience reflects what His word reveals – He delights in freeing the captive.
From the heart of
Laura Limmex the founder of Restored by Grace
